Gender Inequality: It is the best of times, it is the worst of times - Part III

This is the last piece of my posts on Gender Inequality. You can read Parts I and II here and here.

Moving on: "I'm worried about your ability to work in a fast paced environment." I was interviewing for a job at a company that was looking to disrupt their industry. The executive who had reached out to me through a referral was a really smart guy who by his own admission worked "22 hours a day" and spent most of his time on the road.  I was upfront in the first conversation I had with him.  I had two young children and a parent going through chemotherapy.  22 hour workdays were not feasible for me.

I have worked in jobs where my coworkers would leave their winter jackets on their chairs so their managers thought they were still in the office.  I don't want to be that person.  I like working hard, I also love seeing my kids in the evening.  I take a lot of pride in my job but I also take pride in helping my mom through one of the most difficult times in her life.

Having grown up in consulting, I thrive in high pressure environments.  I cannot remember the last time my life wasn't overflowing with different priorities.  As a consultant, I was on the road full-time working 60+ hour weeks.  After consulting, I was working a full-time job and going to business school in the evenings and weekends.  After business school, to fill my evenings, I trained for marathons.  This was followed by parenthood which feels like two full-time jobs in and of itself.

To hear someone tell me I would have a hard time balancing the pace of work was a very hard message.  But I know women face this all the time.  Sometimes this is said out loud, sometimes it is more subtle.

At home, my husband and I have always supported each other's careers.  I have never felt like my job was less important or his job was more important.  Our careers have ebbed and flowed at different times and we have let each other soar when needed and caught each other when needed.

So, I know my husband has also made conscious decisions to choose jobs that didn't involve travel or 14 hour days.  But by and large, women are primary caregivers even when they have careers.  Which means they often pass on jobs that will come in the way of their role as a caregiver.  As a society, I wish for us to hold our jobs as husbands / wives / daughters / sons / mothers / fathers to the same standards as we hold our careers.  I want us to trust the people that work for us to get their jobs done.

That opportunity, as exciting as it sounded, eventually went nowhere.  It is not something I fret over.  It was a choice I made.  In the end, I have realized, what I wish for women is to have choices.  To not have to choose between pregnancy and a career, to not have to choose between ambition and a family. When I don't have a choice, it feels like an uphill climb.  When presented with choices, I feel like I am soaring.

"Here's to strong women.  May we know them.  May we be them.  May we raise them." -- Unknown